Day 17: It's Okay To Be Happy

During the first week of my husband's absence, I happened to be out and about with our thirteen-year-old son.  He was wearing his skinny jeans that are so skinny I had begun referring to them as "man tights".  He had run into the convenience store at the local gas station to get something, and as he returned, he began to strut across the parking lot doing some sort of "gangsta" walk...in man tights!

Needless to say, I busted out laughing and was gesturing wildly for him to stop. I also happened to be on the phone with our fourteen-year-old daughter at the time.

When we got home, my normally mild-mannered fourteen-year-old accosted me almost as soon as I got in the door and demanded to know why I was laughing, and why I was so happy.  I thought it was odd, but proceeded to tell her about her brother's "gansta strut".  She seemed unimpressed.

It wasn't until later that evening, when one of our older boys mentioned to me that she was taking her dad's absence harder than every one thought, that I understood the questions behind her questions, "Why were you laughing?" "Why are you so happy?"

The next day we had an opportunity to talk, just she and I, as I drove her to catch the bus for her volleyball game.  I asked her how she was doing with her dad being gone, and she said that she was sad and missed the sound of his voice.  I told her that I understood her sadness and that I missed the sound of his voice, too.

Then I brought up her questions from the previous day, and took the opportunity to explain to her that even though we all love and miss my husband very much, it was just as okay to be happy as it was to be sad, because even in the midst of our greatest joys, tragedy still touches us, and even as we walk through our darkest valleys, we can still be surprised by joy.

So someday, no matter how dark, if you see an adolescent boy strutting through a parking lot in man tights, go ahead and laugh, because it's okay to be happy, and "that there's funny, I don't care who you are!"