Unleashing the Beast

Tomorrow is Sam's first day back to public school after being home schooled for four years.  I must admit that I feel a  bit guilty, as if I am unleashing a savage beast upon an unsuspecting populace.  It's not as though Sam is a savage beast per se, but Sam is...Sam.  

While home schooling last year, Sam typically got up between 9:30 and 10 (because there is wisdom in letting sleeping Sams lie) and once awake, Sam was rarely clothed and in his right mind.  In fact, he frequently spent entire school days shirtless.  (Apparently his body temperature runs in excess of normal.)  And often, within a couple hours of beginning his school day, Sam would suddenly collect  his schoolwork and make a bee-line for the greenhouse, where he claimed he could concentrate better in solitude.  (Quite frankly, we also were able to concentrate better with Sam in the solitary confines of the greenhouse!)

All of that to say, I have no idea how Sam is going to make the transition from his free-wheeling, bohemian life as a former home schooler to the structure of public school.  I hope he survives.  I hope they survive.  I hope I survive.  God help us all!

Confessions

Last week was a rough week for my family.  In fact, the past couple of years have been difficult, but last weekend it became evident that we are beginning to crumble under the weight of more than a decade of choices, consequences, and circumstances.  The crazy thing is that we are committed Christians.  My husband and I honestly strive to follow Christ and teach our children to do the same, and yet, our family is struggling...

The saddest thing about all of this is that I know we are not the only Christians who struggle with marriage and family issues.  Unfortunately, it is often difficult to be candid when you're a Christian.  Why?  Because Christians are often hard on each other and many who do not profess faith in Christ are waiting and hoping for those of us who do to fail.  

So what do we do when life is less than perfect?  We withdraw.  We build walls.  We insulate in the name of self-preservation.  We don't seek help.  We don't share.  We just keep building our own private fortresses brick by isolating brick.  But I don't want to do that anymore.  I'm tired of hiding.  I'm tired of fearing what my family, my neighbors, and my "friends" might say if they were truly aware of what was going on in my life.  I'm weary of trying to maintain a functional facade.  There is an ongoing battle between my public persona and my private reality, and I am seriously considering merging the two.

Some may think I'm crazy.  Why would I risk being vulnerable? Well let me ask you this--how can we expect people to marvel at the mountains God moves on our behalf, if they never see the valleys?  How can we can we impress upon others the unimaginable grace that God bestows on us, unless we are willing to reveal just how much grace we need?  How can we reach a lost and dying world with a message of hope and healing, unless they are acquainted with the wounds from which we are healed?  

Don't misunderstand me--I am not advocating the airing of one's dirty laundry for sympathy or sensationalism.  What I am advocating is a willingness to share the less-than-picture-perfect portions of our lives with wisdom and discretion for the edification of others.  I know it's scary, but I believe it's worth it, so I'll go first.  Hi, my name is Kelley.  I am a Christian.  My family and I have been walking through a valley for quite some time now, but I believe the God has good things in store for us.  Your turn...

If you give a donkey a carrot...

Today, while taking a bathroom break from my busy life, I though to myself "What if, instead of dangling the "carrot" before the "donkey", one simply gave the donkey the carrot?  Perhaps the donkey would perform because he wants to, not because he is compelled to..."

Isn't that what Christ does for us--give us the carrot?  Christ died on the cross in order to give us the gift of eternal life!  He doesn't say, "Earn it first, and I may give it to you.", as in the case of the poor donkey who performs the task and still may not receive the reward.  

We have already been given the "carrot" of eternal life through faith in Christ.  Christ's sacrifice was in no way dependent upon our performance, and it is because of this precious, undeserved gift that I choose to serve Him with an overwhelming sense of love and gratitude.  

Often when dealing with others, we require performance before reward, and in many cases that is not only wise, but necessary.  But what would happen if every once in a while you surprised someone with grace---unmerited favor, unearned trust, unexpected blessing? 

I was recently given a rather substantial carrot, and what a game changer it was!  It transformed my attitude, and I went from performing a necessary task out of a sense of duty to serving with joyful gratitude.

Today, I was presented with the opportunity to bless someone--someone who, quite frankly, does not deserve it.  And that's what got me thinking, "What if I just gave the donkey the carrot..."

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