Ch...Ch...Ch...Changes!

I haven't written since July, and I am not quite sure how to explain why, except to say that A LOT has happened since my last post, and I've been a bit busy trying to keep up with the whirlwind that is my life. Instead of writing an epic tome to bring y'all up to speed, I'll just hit the high points...

In August, I traveled to California to meet my biological father and my grandmother after a 37-year separation. I also met seven of my eight younger siblings on my father's side (six brothers, one sister, with one brother yet to meet).  Talk about life changing...in a good way!

At the beginning of September, I was offered a tech support position with the Lake Washington School District. I accepted, and with the help of some incredible friends, I moved the children and myself across the state. Life changer #2.

At the end of September, my husband returned home after completing a one-year recovery program. Life changer #3.

To say that my life has changed would be a gross understatement, and not just my life, but the lives of my family members--immediate and extended, old and new. I have gone from being a country girl to a city girl (more on that later...), a stay-at-home mom to a working mom, a homeschooling mom to a public school mom, and after a year of being a single mom, I am now a co-parent again. Not only that, but I have gained a whole new family!

I wish I could tell you that all of these changes have gone smoothly. They haven't. But God is good, life is good, and I am blessed beyond measure! 

Goodbye 2011

It's been another difficult year. In April, we lost a beloved pet and a beloved uncle. In September, my husband entered a recovery program for the treatment of chemical dependency. But in spite of it all, we have been blessed beyond measure, and we are grateful to God for his goodness to us. 

“Reflect upon your blessings, of which every man has plenty,

not on your past misfortunes, of which all men have some.”

- Charles Dickens

Are you going to be here now?

My father once had an uncle who was developmentally disabled.  He spent most of his life in a group home, and we would visit him from time to time during my youth.  Because of his disability, the things that this uncle said rarely made sense, but he would frequently ask, "Are you going to be here now?"  Such a probing question from one who may never have really understood its depth.

Today I came across the video below.  It was created by a man named Blaine Hogan, and it is simply brilliant.  I encourage you to watch the video and then ask yourself, "Am I going to be here now?"  I pray that the answer is yes.

Make God Proud!

In Bible study last night, I was challenged by the words of a young mother (and newer Christian) in our group. We are currently studying the book of Daniel, and we were discussing how difficult it can be to maintain personal integrity in today's world. In the midst of our discussion, this young mother said that each day as her girls leave the house for school she says to them, "Make God proud!"  

Wow!  What if the guiding principal of our lives was to simply make God proud? What if every thought, every word, and every deed passed through this filter before being released to the world?

Not only did I receive a timely word last night regarding personal integrity, but I was also reminded that as "older" Christians we have to be careful not to be dismissive of those who have not walked with the Lord as long as we have -- those who may not posses as much biblical knowledge as we do, or who may not have as many stars on their church attendance record as we have -- because God can (and will!) use even the babes among us to teach us a thing or two.

Thank you, young mom, for sharing this simple, but godly wisdom not only with the next generation of young moms, but with we "old" moms as well! The next time I kiss my husband goodbye or send my kids on their way, I will remind them (and myself!) to MAKE GOD PROUD!

Unleashing the Beast

Tomorrow is Sam's first day back to public school after being home schooled for four years.  I must admit that I feel a  bit guilty, as if I am unleashing a savage beast upon an unsuspecting populace.  It's not as though Sam is a savage beast per se, but Sam is...Sam.  

While home schooling last year, Sam typically got up between 9:30 and 10 (because there is wisdom in letting sleeping Sams lie) and once awake, Sam was rarely clothed and in his right mind.  In fact, he frequently spent entire school days shirtless.  (Apparently his body temperature runs in excess of normal.)  And often, within a couple hours of beginning his school day, Sam would suddenly collect  his schoolwork and make a bee-line for the greenhouse, where he claimed he could concentrate better in solitude.  (Quite frankly, we also were able to concentrate better with Sam in the solitary confines of the greenhouse!)

All of that to say, I have no idea how Sam is going to make the transition from his free-wheeling, bohemian life as a former home schooler to the structure of public school.  I hope he survives.  I hope they survive.  I hope I survive.  God help us all!

Confessions

Last week was a rough week for my family.  In fact, the past couple of years have been difficult, but last weekend it became evident that we are beginning to crumble under the weight of more than a decade of choices, consequences, and circumstances.  The crazy thing is that we are committed Christians.  My husband and I honestly strive to follow Christ and teach our children to do the same, and yet, our family is struggling...

The saddest thing about all of this is that I know we are not the only Christians who struggle with marriage and family issues.  Unfortunately, it is often difficult to be candid when you're a Christian.  Why?  Because Christians are often hard on each other and many who do not profess faith in Christ are waiting and hoping for those of us who do to fail.  

So what do we do when life is less than perfect?  We withdraw.  We build walls.  We insulate in the name of self-preservation.  We don't seek help.  We don't share.  We just keep building our own private fortresses brick by isolating brick.  But I don't want to do that anymore.  I'm tired of hiding.  I'm tired of fearing what my family, my neighbors, and my "friends" might say if they were truly aware of what was going on in my life.  I'm weary of trying to maintain a functional facade.  There is an ongoing battle between my public persona and my private reality, and I am seriously considering merging the two.

Some may think I'm crazy.  Why would I risk being vulnerable? Well let me ask you this--how can we expect people to marvel at the mountains God moves on our behalf, if they never see the valleys?  How can we can we impress upon others the unimaginable grace that God bestows on us, unless we are willing to reveal just how much grace we need?  How can we reach a lost and dying world with a message of hope and healing, unless they are acquainted with the wounds from which we are healed?  

Don't misunderstand me--I am not advocating the airing of one's dirty laundry for sympathy or sensationalism.  What I am advocating is a willingness to share the less-than-picture-perfect portions of our lives with wisdom and discretion for the edification of others.  I know it's scary, but I believe it's worth it, so I'll go first.  Hi, my name is Kelley.  I am a Christian.  My family and I have been walking through a valley for quite some time now, but I believe the God has good things in store for us.  Your turn...

If you give a donkey a carrot...

Today, while taking a bathroom break from my busy life, I though to myself "What if, instead of dangling the "carrot" before the "donkey", one simply gave the donkey the carrot?  Perhaps the donkey would perform because he wants to, not because he is compelled to..."

Isn't that what Christ does for us--give us the carrot?  Christ died on the cross in order to give us the gift of eternal life!  He doesn't say, "Earn it first, and I may give it to you.", as in the case of the poor donkey who performs the task and still may not receive the reward.  

We have already been given the "carrot" of eternal life through faith in Christ.  Christ's sacrifice was in no way dependent upon our performance, and it is because of this precious, undeserved gift that I choose to serve Him with an overwhelming sense of love and gratitude.  

Often when dealing with others, we require performance before reward, and in many cases that is not only wise, but necessary.  But what would happen if every once in a while you surprised someone with grace---unmerited favor, unearned trust, unexpected blessing? 

I was recently given a rather substantial carrot, and what a game changer it was!  It transformed my attitude, and I went from performing a necessary task out of a sense of duty to serving with joyful gratitude.

Today, I was presented with the opportunity to bless someone--someone who, quite frankly, does not deserve it.  And that's what got me thinking, "What if I just gave the donkey the carrot..."

Photo Credit

When vs. If

A few days ago, I called a friend because I was in desperate need of some Godly encouragement.  As the waves of discouragement began to roll, I heard myself begin to express one of my heart's deepest desires by saying, "If...".  As soon as the word "if" left my mouth, my thoughts turned to another friend, a friend who never voices heartfelt desires with a qualifying "if", but a definitive "when". This friend is not endorsing some sort of "name it and claim it" weirdness.  She has unshakable confidence in the knowledge that God is holding her heart.

As I shared my epiphany regarding friend B's faith with friend A, we had a little giggle about the fact that in friend B's world there seems to be only two kinds of people--Christians and PRE-Christians, and I realized that if I want to see God move mountains, I need to develop the "when" faith of friend B, even when it seems that God is silent.

---

Thank you, Friend A, for your Godly encouragement!  Your friendship is such a blessing to me.  Thank you, Friend B, for your awe-inspiring "when" faith!  When (not if!) I grow up, I want to be like you!

Reset

My husband lost his job last week, so no more night shift.  (Be careful what you wish for!)  In light of this, I guess it's time to reset my internal clock and once again attempt to "maximize my mornings".  I've kind of missed my morning routine, but the getting up early is going to kill me!

How do you do it all?

A few months ago, a friend asked, "How do you do it all?!?"  Well, uhm...I don't...or at least not well.  The question came after learning that I had just finished reading a book for fun, and my friend (a new home schooler) was wondering how in the world I managed to pull it off given the fact that I have a husband, seven children (four of whom I homeschool), a soap business, an organic produce business, and a myriad of other obligations and responsibilities.  

The truth of the matter is that no one can do it ALL, or at least not well.  Something's always gonna give, and in the day and a half that it took to read my book, I didn't garden, I didn't make soap, I declared a half-day of school, I skipped the laundry, I didn't answer the phone, I left dishes in the sink, I have no idea what my children ate, and I stayed up until 3 am!  (To be quite honest, I'm not even sure that I brushed or bathed during those 36 hours!)

I am a firm believer in the "Law of Good Enough"--not  necessarily in every aspect of life (there are some areas that consistently require our best effort) and definitely not all the time, but I believe that it is important to recognize when "good enough" (or even "not at all") may actually be better than "best".  

For example, let's say that you've decided to take a toothbrush and a pumice stone to the toilet to make it look like the day it was installed.  You've squirted the cling gel, swished with the toilet brush, and done the preliminary wipe down.  You're poised with your (old!) toothbrush and have your pumice stone at the ready.  You're just about to dive in when your eleven-year-old bursts in excitedly and tells you that she's finally mastered her back walk over.  What do you do?  Do you say, "That's nice, honey..." and go back to your toilet, or do you call it "good enough", give it a flush, and give your child your best?  (Now some of you may be disciplined enough to return to the toilet once the gymnastics demonstration is over.  Me?  Not so much.)

So how do I do it all?  I don't.  Sometimes, the best thing for all involved is for me to go on a "staycation" (a stay-at-home vacation) and let things slide.  I declare half-days of school.  We have cereal for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.  (My husband works nights, so I can get away with this from time to time!)  I swish instead of scrub.  I stay up late and sleep late.  I let the "Law of Good Enough" (or "Not at All") carry me from point A to point B without guilt, but not in every area and not all the time.  And after the final chapter of my book is read (and I've had a good night's sleep!), I return to the cooking, and cleaning, and gardening, and soapmaking, and homeschooling with renewed vigor until it's time for another "staycation" (or gymnastics demonstration).  Now about that toilet...

How do you do it all?  I'd love to know your secrets!

Photo Credit

Upside Down

Several weeks ago I happened upon the Maximize Your Mornings challenge over at Inspired to Action. My morning routine (or lack thereof) was in definite need of maximization, so I decided to give it a go. I was skeptical at first, but after about a week, I was hooked...until my husband was transferred to night shift.

When your spouse works nights, he/she sleeps during that day, and that can really mess with your communication, family time, and "couple" (insert your favorite amorous phrase) time. For the past few weeks, I have been getting up about an hour after my husband now falls asleep.  Then I leave to help care for my grandmother about an hour after my husband now wakes up. I typically don't get home until about an hour after my husband leaves for work, and it is starting to feel as if "we're two ships that pass in the night" (cue Barry Manilow!).  (Actually, sometimes I feel like a single mom with a boyfriend who sneaks in in the middle of the night, instead of a married, middle-aged mother of seven!)

I was so enjoying my "maximized" mornings and the efficiency they brought to my days.  I loved my quiet time (aka "sit-and-stare time").  I loved starting my days with worship and in the Word.  I loved getting exercise out of the way, and I loved, loved, LOVED planning my days in peace and quiet, but now that my husband works nights, it seems that maximizing my mornings is minimizing my marriage! (Actually night shift is the real culprit, but we can't really do much about that.) And in spite of my best intentions, I find myself drifting back to my old pattern of staying up late (It's 12:56 AM as I type this!) and sleeping in.  FAIL!  (On a positive note, in spite of my difficulty with mornings, I am really quite good at maximizing my midnights!)

So what's a girl to do when she feels like her entire family lives in a different time zone than the rest of her community? My husband's upside-down days don't affect only him; even the kids are upside down. If daddy has to sleep until noon, the easiest way to keep it quiet is to let the kids sleep in, which wreaks havoc on chores (Our livestock prefers breakfast over brunch.), school work (How many half days can one allow and still be considered a decent educator?), and appointments (Can we have the last appointment of the day...please?  Pretty please?!).  And we all know what happens when kids sleep in on a regular basis--it's like charging extended-life batteries, and they are nowhere near ready for bed at a "reasonable" hour (whatever that is!).  (It should be noted that teenagers in our home have adapted rather nicely to the night shift.  In fact, I'm quite sure that the neighbors think that we're hosting a rave, as loud techno music can be heard at almost all hours of the night!)

I have thought long and hard about this dilemma, and to be quite honest, the only reasonable solution I have come up with is to throw in the towel and snuggle up with my hubby.  So if you see me in my  bathrobe at 11:00 am, you'll know that I decided to maximized my marriage, and who knows, perhaps when the night-shift season of our lives ends, I'll have another go at maximizing my mornings!

G'night all! (Or should I say good morning...?!)

Photo Credit

Here's to a less sucky May!

Saturday, I received this card from a dear friend...

 

Thanks, Sally!  You made my day!

Running Shoes

Yesterday, after spending a small fortune on two of my teenage sons at Zumiez (and not getting the one thing that they actually needed--jeans), we ended up at Ross.  Quality time had deteriorated into quantity time, and I was in a serious funk, so I turned the boys loose and said something like, “I don’t want to see you again unless you come back with jeans!” 

I decided that since I was there, I may as well indulge in some shopping therapy (when in Rome and all that…), and I began to wander the aisles aimlessly.  After about 10 minutes of adding random stuff to my cart—sundresses, strapless sundresses, ridiculously high wedge heels, running shoes, men’s socks, a bright orange swimsuit (?!), I decided, somewhat reluctantly, that it was time to hit the dressing rooms.

Once in the dressing room, I discovered that overnight my body had begun to resemble a pear—a pear!  (Okay, so maybe it didn’t happen overnight or perhaps the lighting in my home is better than the dressing room lighting…)  After several agonizing “try-ons” (the bright orange swimsuit being the final nail in the self esteem coffin), I came to the conclusion that the only items in my cart that would truly make me feel better about myself were the running shoes. 

They say that the first step in getting help is admitting that you have a problem.  Well, people, I have a problem—I’m starting to look like a pear.  The second step actually preceded the first step—I bought those running shoes (and the men’s socks…I have big feet!).  Now it's time to get out and run!

Gluteus Minimus

Yesterday, I went to see our family doctor.  For the past few weeks I have been having pain in my right hip that worsens as I rotate my leg outward, and I had also discovered a weird growth on the inside of my right cheek, so I decided to have both checked out.  (Actually, I didn't decide; my husband insisted!)

Upon being escorted to the examination room, I learned that my doctor was training a physician's assistant from another state.  I was asked if I would consent to being the new guy's guinea pig, and I said, "Sure, why not..."  The new guy had a pretty good idea what was going on with my cheek and confirmed my initial internet diagnosis, but my hip was a different story.  I was asked if I would mind putting on a "gown", so he could examine my hip more thoroughly.  "Sure, why not..."  He left.  I donned the "gown".  He returned and examined.  Still stumped.  He stepped out to consult with my doctor.  Both returned.  Leg up. Leg down.  Bend.  Twist.  Turn.  Adduction.  Abduction.  Push. Pull.  Ruling out of possible sources of pain.  Joint?  No.  Tendon?  No.  Muscle?  Yes!  Which muscle?  More twisting, turning, bending...palpating...uhm...awkward.  (You'd think after birthing four children, nothing would be awkward, but...)

By the time they were done pushing, pulling, twisting, and palpating, I felt like a side of beef!  And the verdict...a pulled gluteus minimus.  Nice!  As if the palpation wasn't bad enough, they add insult to injury by telling me that I've basically pulled a muscle in my BUTT!   Well, not quite my butt, but it has the butt word, gluteus, in it!  "Why are you walking like that, Kelley?"  "Oh, I've injured my gluteus minimus."  "You mean you hurt your butt?"  "NO!  Oh, never mind...!"  No one is going to take the time to Google gluteus minimus and discover that it actually controls outward rotation of the thigh.  No!  They're just going to assume that I hurt my butt!  Oh, and my oral growth?  An infected spit gland. (Parotid gland, to be precise!)  The solutions?  No exercise for six to eight weeks while the gluteus minimus heals and an antibiotic (that will most likely cause gastric distress!) for the salivary gland.  Nice!  And that, dear friends, is why I don't like to go to the doctor!

The Strong-Willed Family

In the interest of authenticity, I have decided to revert to this blog's original name "The Strong-Willed Family".  "Carpe Diem!" has been fun, and "seize the day" will always be an ideal that I aspire to, but the truth is that we are what we are, and in our case, that's strong-willed.

Back in the day when I was a new mom to my first  precious "strong-willed" child, a close friend observed that not only did I have a strong-willed child, I had a strong-willed family!  Sometimes the truth hurts, but now, almost two decades later,  I have learned that our greatest weaknesses can become our greatest strengths when yielded to Christ.  So welcome (again) to our strong-willed family!  We've come a long way, but we're still learning to yield, so fasten your seat belt; we may encounter some turbulence...  (And yes, I can be a bit fickle at times, especially when it comes to names!)

Photo Credit

Between the Photos

Last summer, photos from our extended family camp out sent two of my friends into temporary, minor depression.  Both friends remarked on how wonderful our family was and how much we seemed to enjoy each other's company.  I responded to both friends with a slightly sarcastic snort.  Now don't get me wrong--my family is truly wonderful, and we genuinely enjoy each other's company, but this particular camp out was not one of our best.  Five family members were missing, one was on crutches, and one needed a serious attitude adjustment!

It has been said that a picture is worth a thousand words, but life between the pictures may be worth even more.  Several months ago, I was in a funk, and I was wishing that my life looked more like the pictures--our pictures!  Then I realized that for every picture that makes it to Facebook or this blog, there are five or more that don't, and that that's where life, real life happens.  Real life is the over-exposed photos, the blurry  photos, the lopsided grins, the awkward food-in-your-mouth smiles, the ill-timed blinks, and the snapping-and-pointing-at-your-kids-when-you-should-be-smiling-at-the-camera moments.  

And what about those photos that just don't make the cut--the ones that have no future as a profile picture or blog feature?  Do we delete them?  Do we throw them away?  Typically, no.  But why?  Because life, just like those photos, is imperfect, but in spite of the imperfections, there is still beauty, wonder...value.  Life is not lived from perfect snapshot to perfect snapshot.  The tapestries of our lives are woven in part from the imperfect moments that we don't dare cast off, for without them, our stories are incomplete.  

So here's to all the imperfect snapshot and everyday moments that make us laugh and make us cry--the moments and snapshots we cherish, because they are worth far more than a thousand words! (And don't let the pictures fool ya--we're pretty much like everyone else!)

Seize the day...

Early this morning my brother Dan boarded a plane for the first leg of his journey to Argentina, but before he left, he managed to sneak this onto my refrigerator:

Dan acquired this magnet several years ago while living in Colorado.  What's so special about this magnet to me is that for the last several weeks I have been lamenting about this blog's title "Carpe Diem!" ("seize the day" in Latin) to anyone who will listen, and Dan listened.  

Those who know me well know what a struggle it is for me to "seize the day".  Some people rise with the dawn excited about the day and what it will bring.  I am not one of those people.  Dan, on the other hand, is "seize the day" incarnate.  Dan climbs rocks.  He installs windows.  (Thank you!)  He kayaks.  He bakes bread, and pies, and biscotti.  He makes Christmas cookies with my children.  He builds. (In fact, he is flying to Argentina to build as I type!)  He rises early and stays up late.  He's the Proverbs 31 woman that I long to be!  (Sorry, Dan.  You are not womanly at all.  You are very, very manly!)  

I have never climbed a rock.  I'm afraid of the table saw.  I hurt myself with the drill.  (I do kayak!)  I've never made a pie crust or biscotti.  I hate baking Christmas cookies.  (Sorry kids, the truth hurts!)  I rise late and stay up late, and sometimes, I'm cranky and have PMS and look like Don King!  Yet in spite of it all, my brother sees my heart, and without a word, he quietly encouraged me to keep on trying.  Thank you, Dan. I will keep trying, and somehow, I will find a way to seize the day!

Authenticity

 AUTHENTIC (adj.) -

• not false or copied; genuine; real (www.dictionary.com) 
• true to one's own personality, spirit, or character (www.merriam-webster.com)

As stated in a previous post, one of my words for 2011 is authenticity. I don't know what I was thinking when I chose that word...so easy to say, so much harder to live...especially when you're going through a trial.

Authenticity Challenge #1:  (This hasn't happened yet, but it will...)

I'm out and about functioning (because that's what I do), and I run into a Facebook "friend" (come on, admit it, we've all got 'em...), and the "conversation" goes something like this:

Friend:  "Well, hello!  How are you?"  (big, cheesy, insincere grin)

Me:   "Fine. Good!  And you?" (bigger, cheesier, more insincere grin)

And just like that, I've lied.  Oh dear, I've lied...  Oh my goodness gracious...I'VE LIED!  I most certainly am NOT fine! (But FB friend doesn't really care...) And circumstances are most definitely NOT good!  (But FB friend obviously has better things to do than listen to my drama...)

So what's a girl to do?  Is there ever a time when etiquette trumps authenticity?

Authenticity Challenge #2:  (This one DID happen!)

A few days ago I was feeling particularly feisty (read: snarky), and I made a snide comment about one of my son's friends, partially in jest, but the truth is "...out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks."  (Matthew 12:34).  My son jumped me about it immediately, and I told him I was only joking, but he wouldn't let me off the hook and went a step further by saying, "You know you're just going to be all nice the next time you see 'em."  To which I replied (in my high and mighty voice), "Well, I'm not going to be rude!"  To which he replied, "Well, then you're just being two-face!"  O-U-C-H!  To make matters worse, one of my other big boys was there for the exchange and burst out laughing, because my other son had just rendered me utterly speechless, which pretty much never happens...  Can you say EPIC FAIL?!

I must confess that my initial reaction toward my "mouthy teenager" was anger, but as the night wore on, I realized that my anger should have been directed at myself, because my son was right, and my attitude toward his friend was ungodly.  I went downstairs with a heavy heart to apologize to my son, but because I'm stubborn and occasionally a little slow on the uptake, my son was already asleep, and as a reward for my stubbornness, I got to feel cruddy for another nineteen hours before my apology was delivered and accepted.  I digress...

So, does etiquette ever trump authenticity?  Should I really unload all of my drama on some poor, unsuspecting Facebook friend in the name of authenticity?  Should I really treat my children's friends according to my current attitude toward them just to be "real"?   I don't think so, but what's a God-fearing girl to do?

I have two thoughts... (Well, actually, I have a LOT of thoughts, but I'll spare you the word salad...)

Regarding scenario #1:

In James 1:2, we are instructed to "Consider it pure joy...whenever you face trials of many kinds".  Because of Christ, I can be joyful even in the midst of trials.  And Psalm 34:8 says, "Taste and see that the LORD is good; blessed is the one who takes refuge in him."  The Lord IS good, and because the Lord is good, I am blessed regardless of my circumstances, when I take refuge in Him.  So when someone asks me how I am, I can honestly say, "Fine. Good!" as long as I am abiding in Christ.

Regarding scenario #2:

How can I treat people who rub me the wrong way kindly without being "two-faced"?  By asking the Lord to change my attitude toward them.  Right is right, regardless of how we feel, and kindness is always right.  Sometimes right feelings don't come until right choices are made.  I can't count the times I've said, "Do the right  thing, and the feelings will follow."  So when a sandpaper person starts rubbin' my last nerve raw, I can honestly choose to be kind while trusting God to change my heart.

So maybe authenticity is worth the effort, and perhaps it's not as impossible as I first thought...but stay tuned, 'cause God's not done with me, and I'm sure there will be a few more tests before the final!

Letting go...

"Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland." (Isaiah 43:18-19 NIV)

I find these verses particularly encouraging as I stand poised on the brink of 2011.  As stated in a previous post, 2010 was a difficult year for my family, and to be honest, I'm glad it's finally over.  2010 wasn't all bad, but there are some angry words and poor choices that I would like to forget.  In Isaiah 43:18, the Lord urges me to do just that, to "FORGET the former things" and not to dwell on the past.  In verse 19, He says "...I am doing a new thing...I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland."  There were times in 2010 when my life felt like a barren wasteland, but in the midst of it all, God was there, and He was faithful, and He has promised to be faithful again.  So before I take one step into 2011, I am resolving to let go of the baggage of 2010 and fix my eyes on the ONE who has new things in store!

Goodbye 2010

2010 has been quite a year. In many ways, it has been one of the most difficult years of my life--bittersweet, if you will. My husband lost his job and had major knee surgery. After twelve years of being a stay-at-home mom, I became the temporary breadwinner. My grandfather died. My oldest son's baseball team won the state championship. The same son graduated from high school. A dear friend lost her only son in a tragic car accident. We added a new family member. My oldest son went away to college. My dad bought a Harley. We lived, we loved, we laughed, and we cried. So much joy, so much heartache, so many tears... Goodbye 2010, and thanks for the memories.