Today I took my husband back over the mountains after a twelve-day visit to celebrate our son's graduation from high school. How was the visit? Nothing like either of us expected...
What did I expect? I suppose I expected a knight in shining armor who would rescue me from the ravages of single-handedly trying to parent seven strong-willed children.
What did he expect? It seems as though he expected a Martha Stewart meets June Cleaver hybrid complete with spotless house, heels, and gourmet meals.
What did we get? Cyclops vs. Storm. The first twenty-four hours were great, but by they time we hit the forty-eight hour mark, we weren't sure we were going to survive our "quality time" together.
What did we learn from the experience? We learned that recovery is a process, and although we are no longer "addict" and "enabler", we have a lot of rebuilding to do as a family and as a couple. We also learned that expectations can be dangerous -- they are rarely realistic and are seldom ever met.
I can almost guarantee you that I will never be greeting my husband at the end of the day in heels and pearls with a five-course meal and a handcrafted centerpiece on our table, and my husband is not likely to ride up on a white horse wearing chain mail and brandishing a sword any time soon, but that's okay. Cyclops and Storm suit us just fine as long as we remember that we're both X-Men, and WE'RE ON THE SAME TEAM! We're finally figuring out that we'd much rather face the future with each other than against each other, and THAT, my friends, is progress!
Growth, while often painful, is always positive. Praying for you all - and counting you blessed as you realize the changes in course and make adjustments in the moment instead of waiting until you wash up on a distant shore you didn't expect.
ReplyDeleteThank you, my friend!
ReplyDeleteAmazing honesty and truth. I love the metaphor. :)
ReplyDeleteThank you, Emily! :-)
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