Today I took my husband back over the mountains after a twelve-day visit to celebrate our son's graduation from high school. How was the visit? Nothing like either of us expected...
What did I expect? I suppose I expected a knight in shining armor who would rescue me from the ravages of single-handedly trying to parent seven strong-willed children.
What did he expect? It seems as though he expected a Martha Stewart meets June Cleaver hybrid complete with spotless house, heels, and gourmet meals.
What did we get? Cyclops vs. Storm. The first twenty-four hours were great, but by they time we hit the forty-eight hour mark, we weren't sure we were going to survive our "quality time" together.
What did we learn from the experience? We learned that recovery is a process, and although we are no longer "addict" and "enabler", we have a lot of rebuilding to do as a family and as a couple. We also learned that expectations can be dangerous -- they are rarely realistic and are seldom ever met.
I can almost guarantee you that I will never be greeting my husband at the end of the day in heels and pearls with a five-course meal and a handcrafted centerpiece on our table, and my husband is not likely to ride up on a white horse wearing chain mail and brandishing a sword any time soon, but that's okay. Cyclops and Storm suit us just fine as long as we remember that we're both X-Men, and WE'RE ON THE SAME TEAM! We're finally figuring out that we'd much rather face the future with each other than against each other, and THAT, my friends, is progress!