Several weeks ago I happened upon the Maximize Your Mornings challenge over at Inspired to Action. My morning routine (or lack thereof) was in definite need of maximization, so I decided to give it a go. I was skeptical at first, but after about a week, I was hooked...until my husband was transferred to night shift.
When your spouse works nights, he/she sleeps during that day, and that can really mess with your communication, family time, and "couple" (insert your favorite amorous phrase) time. For the past few weeks, I have been getting up about an hour after my husband now falls asleep. Then I leave to help care for my grandmother about an hour after my husband now wakes up. I typically don't get home until about an hour after my husband leaves for work, and it is starting to feel as if "we're two ships that pass in the night" (cue Barry Manilow!). (Actually, sometimes I feel like a single mom with a boyfriend who sneaks in in the middle of the night, instead of a married, middle-aged mother of seven!)
I was so enjoying my "maximized" mornings and the efficiency they brought to my days. I loved my quiet time (aka "sit-and-stare time"). I loved starting my days with worship and in the Word. I loved getting exercise out of the way, and I loved, loved, LOVED planning my days in peace and quiet, but now that my husband works nights, it seems that maximizing my mornings is minimizing my marriage! (Actually night shift is the real culprit, but we can't really do much about that.) And in spite of my best intentions, I find myself drifting back to my old pattern of staying up late (It's 12:56 AM as I type this!) and sleeping in. FAIL! (On a positive note, in spite of my difficulty with mornings, I am really quite good at maximizing my midnights!)
So what's a girl to do when she feels like her entire family lives in a different time zone than the rest of her community? My husband's upside-down days don't affect only him; even the kids are upside down. If daddy has to sleep until noon, the easiest way to keep it quiet is to let the kids sleep in, which wreaks havoc on chores (Our livestock prefers breakfast over brunch.), school work (How many half days can one allow and still be considered a decent educator?), and appointments (Can we have the last appointment of the day...please? Pretty please?!). And we all know what happens when kids sleep in on a regular basis--it's like charging extended-life batteries, and they are nowhere near ready for bed at a "reasonable" hour (whatever that is!). (It should be noted that teenagers in our home have adapted rather nicely to the night shift. In fact, I'm quite sure that the neighbors think that we're hosting a rave, as loud techno music can be heard at almost all hours of the night!)
I have thought long and hard about this dilemma, and to be quite honest, the only reasonable solution I have come up with is to throw in the towel and snuggle up with my hubby. So if you see me in my bathrobe at 11:00 am, you'll know that I decided to maximized my marriage, and who knows, perhaps when the night-shift season of our lives ends, I'll have another go at maximizing my mornings!
